Meet & Greet...Always Unique

We have autograph sessions after almost every show.  Every one runs a little different, yet each one is the same.  I have to give instructions to everyone before they approach the table:

"Please make sure your camera is on and ready to go.  When it's your turn, give your camera to Jenn and head directly behind the table because we will be taking the photograph first. 

Once the photo is done, you can place anything you want signed on the table. They will sign anything you put in front of them, it doesn't matter what it is. Just one item per person and if it's a CD, make sure it's already unwrapped so you don't hold up the line."

I say that about 50 times a night. 

Questions I have received:

-can they sign two items?  

ONE ITEM PER PERSON

-can he sign my CD?

YES.  ANYTHING. 

-can he sign my ticket?

YES.  ANYTHING. 

-can he sign my shirt?  

YES.  ANYTHING. 

-can they sign the shirt I'm wearing?   

IF YOUR FEMALE AND WEARING IT, THEY CAN SIGN ONLY THE BACK. 

Why only the back?

BECAUSE YOU HAVE LADY PARTS IN THE FRONT. 

-can I get a photo too?  

YES. PHOTOGRAPHS THEN AUTOGRAPHS. 

-can I get an autograph too?

YES. PHOTOGRAPHS THEN AUTOGRAPHS. 

-can I get a photo with my friend too?  YES, WE DONT CARE WHO IS IN THE PHOTO WITH YOU. 

-can I give him popcorn?  

YES. 

-can I tell him my story?   

NO. WE DONT HAVE ENOUGH TIME (an extra 45 minutes just for you). 

-I don't want to wait in line, can I just go up front?  

NO. 

-I have kids that need to go to bed. Can I go to the front of the line?  

NO. 

-where is Francesca?  

SHE'S PREGNANT. 

Will she be signing?  

SHE'S PREGNANT.  

So...will she be signing...?  

NO. 

Why?  

SHE'S PREGNANT.